competition

time and distance engage in a fierce race
to see which can separate me more
from myself

Lao Tsé y La Soledad

No conozco nada y nada me preocupa.
No veo diferencia entre sí y no.
No veo diferencia entre bien y mal.
No temo aquello que la gente teme en la noche.

La gente está feliz como en una fiesta suntuosa
O jugando en el campo en primavera;
Pero yo permanezco tranquilo y vagabundeando,
Como un recién nacido antes de aprender a sonreir,
Solitario, sin hogar.

La gente tiene lo suficiente y para compartir,
Pero yo no poseo nada,
Y mi corazón es ignorante,
turbio y ensombrecido.

La gente está rediante y segura,
Mientras yo sigo ciego y confuso;
La gente es inteligente y sabia,
Mientras permanezco torpe e ignorante,
Sin objetivo, como una ola en la superficie del mar,
Sujeto a nada.

La gente está ocupada con un propósito,
Mientras sigo impractico y tosco.
Estoy aparte del resto de la gente
Todavía sostenido por la Naturaleza.

tangencies

and so...

i conduct my journey

touching

genuinly

briefly

as i go

the curves of other's journeys

somehow

i always end up summing up my adventures alone

and simply grateful

not sorry

for that's what i've been given

i am but a piece in this huge puzzle

nothing more

a tiny piece

that has learned to ride waves

and endure times

i conduct this journey

because that's the only command

so far

I've understood clearly enough

belongings

what i make out
how i remember
how i transform

things

into narratives
into brief chapters
eventful and mostly beautiful

the way in which i interpret
the way in which i travel in memory

what is edited, curated and composed from the rubble of life

is what belongs to me

Remembering Rotterdam

deseo según Lao Tse

Libre de deseo, comprendes el misterio.
Atrapado en el deseo, sólo ves sus manifestaciones.

the nature of truth

true things
await
and observe

true things
don't rush

true things
don't just appear
they are harvested

true things
are simple
and make you happy

true things
are not mysterious
they are just true

tears never dry

when you've done all you can
when you use all your tools
all your ideas
all your efforts
and you simply try to stay on the surface

to withstand

when you've offered options
when you've compromised whatever was needed

when you've reasoned
when you've even stopped expecting altogether

and still it is not enough
for life
for peace

if i cannot save myself
and obviously no one else can help me

then what?

Incomplete by Alanis Morissette

One day I'll find relief
I'll be arrived
And I'll be friend to my friends who know how to be friends
One day I'll be at peace
I'll be enlightened and I'll be married with children and maybe adopt
One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

One day my mind will retreat
And I'll know God
And I'll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I'll be secure
Like the women I see on their thirtieth anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous
And torturous
And never done

One day I will speak freely
I'll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I'll be trusting and spacious authentic and grounded and home

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

once upon a time

when i had hiccups

i was turned upside down

i saw movies

i stayed over

i saw countries

i cooked

i slept

i dreamed

i woke up

productive love

love doesn't just vanish into space

if it is felt

it produces something

even if not said

even if not expressed in any way

if it is felt

it connects

it wishes well

it protects

fantasyland

where there are great coincidences
and all the freaking stars align
and everything happens exactly as one would wish it to

where dreams don't crash and break into unintelligible pieces
where good people get what they deserve
and bad things only happen to bastards

where therapists don't exist
and life is just simple

acceso

hoy hasta las memorias se sienten tan lejos
hay días en los que el desarraigo se hace el protagonista
y el corazón se queda en pelotas
y el estómago se pone a dar patadas voladoras
y a la garganta la molesta un nudito constante
y a la voz se le oye un quiebre leve pero presente
solo porque hay conversaciones
cafés
caminatas
que no pueden hacerse por la distancia

realismo mágico

las cajas de cartón corrugado se erigen
vacías conforman una estructura a la que entro y salgo cada día
que me cubre cuando llueve
y me esconde cuando lloro

duermo allí sobre mi cama compuesta por un montón de rollos de bubble wrap
uno al lado de otro
y pegados con cinta adhesiva ancha de color marrón

otros rollos de bubble wrap (a los que me tienta irles explotando bolita a bolita)
esperan a que los use de sábana cuando entra el friito de navidad

mis cosas están clasificadas
etiquetadas
agrupadas

mis libros
mi ropa
mis recuerdos de algun viaje o alguna exhibición

mi laptop
mis artefactos electrónicos
mis efectos personales

todos esperan
a que termine esta otra transición
entre otros tiempos y los que vienen
grandes, lejos

todos esperan
el próximo
gran
viaje

formas platónicas

una esfera perfecta
un sobrio cuadrado
un ángulo rectángulo

la concisa finitud de un punto en el espacio

o una afinidad intelectual...
o el simple disfrute de una sonrisa.

palmita

boca | beso | sonrisa

figuras 1 | 2

figuras 3 | 4

knowhow

strategic
tactical
persevering
thoughts of beauty

persistent
continuous
wishful
images of days to come